MY ALL-STAR ADVENTURE PART II

One of the newest and most unique events during All-Star Week is All-Star Sunday. It is an all day celebration of baseball that includes the Future’s Game, which is a chance for minor league talent to showcase their abilities before a Major League crowd, and the Legends and Celebrities Softball Game, which is a chance for older players and B-list celebrities to show how desperate for attention they really are.

The Future’s Game breaks up minor league players into two teams: The America Team and the World Team. The World Team is comprised of any baseball player not from America, so essentially it’s like the United States takes on the world in the game that America invented. You would think that America would always dominate. WRONG! In fact, going into the 2009 game, America and the world were tied. Mark this in your calendars. For a time, America was on an even playing field with the world. But who would prevail this year?

The Celebrity Softball Game is the newest attraction to All-Star Sunday. It started in Seattle during the 2001 All-Star Game and has occurred ever since. The players insist they are playing for charity, but in reality, ESPN just needed something to put in their time slot immediately following the Home Run Derby on Monday night. I would have loved to be at that brainstorming session:

“Gentlemen, we need something to broadcast after the Home Run Derby.”

“Why don’t we just broadcast Sports Center?”

“No. The Yankees and Red Sox didn’t play today so that means nothing interesting happened in the world of sports.”

“Why not air a special All-Star version of Baseball Tonight?”

“Dammit, man! Your ideas make too much sense! We need something completely out of the blue!”

“How about we just get a bunch of old guys and unknown celebrities to play in a softball game the Sunday before the All-Star Game?”

“BRILLIANT!”

“And we can charge people 30 bucks a ticket to come watch this bull shit!”

And that’s how Erin Andrews landed her job with ESPN.


PART II: IT’S RAINING ON GAME NIGHT


The night after my experience at FanFest, I began doing what I normally do: Goofing around on the Internet looking at pointless YouTube videos until I realize, “Oh crap, I came down here four hours ago to just check my e-mail before bed!” It’s a good thing I got distracted (again) because I received a late night phone call from my girlfriend, Megan.

“THEY’RE HAVING A CELEBRITY SOFTBALL GAME TOMORROW,” she shouted over the phone.

“I know. Since when are you interested in going to see something remotely involving baseball,” I asked.

“This ISN’T baseball. IT’S CELEBRITIES!”

Something to note here. Megan hates baseball. Scratch that. Megan hates sports. Several times I have tried to get here to sit down and watch a sporting even with me and she can’t stand it. She dreads baseball season like St. Louis dreads the Rams: Just avoid at all cost. Since I’m a huge baseball fan, life is hard for her from April to September, and God willing till late October. Sorry Megan, but it’s only six or seven months out of every year.

Anyway, with this in mind, I was somewhat excited that Megan showed any interest in doing anything baseball. So without even questioning anything, I went ahead and bought two tickets to All-Star Sunday.

We left Sunday morning and parked in my usual spot: The City Hall Lot right across from the police station on Clark Street. I love this parking lot. It’s cheap, convenient and it’s only a couple blocks from the ballpark. Traditionally, there is an attendant at the entrance of the lot charging five dollars to park there (six dollars if there is an “event” at Scottrade Center. And by event, I mean the guy was charging an extra dollar and putting it in his pocket but got caught for selling crack. I still love this lot). However, there was no attendant there and the gates were wide open. This either meant, “Come on in and park for free,” or “Come on in and we’ll tow your car and ruin your day because you aren’t supposed to park here.” I parked there in the hopes that my 2000 silver Buick LeSabre would still be there when I got back.

The skies were cloudy that day, but at first it looked like it was just going to be that type of day and nothing looked overly ominous. As I looked at the clock it was 12:20. I figured I would be home by 7pm.

I was dead wrong….

The Future’s Game started on time, at 1pm. The plan was that a half-hour after the game finished, the Celebrity Softball Game would start and be over about two hours later. However, nature had different ideas. The Future’s Game finished the top of the first inning and then the rain came pouring down like the Octo-mom’s water had just broke. And if you didn’t realize it was raining, the lovely people at Busch Stadium put this message on the scoreboard to tell you that it was.


Well, neither Megan nor I were very happy. When I looked at the radar and saw a large plot of green with a little yellow and orange mixed in with a purple center, I knew it was going to be a very long day, especially since I knew that purple rain is the worst kind of rain.

For four hours we sat through a delay. I would have taken this time to drink my fair share of Bud Light, but at nearly eight dollars a bottle, I could only have two.

Since there was no baseball to be played for a while, I decided it would be a good time to meet up with my Uncle Mike, Aunt Carol and Cousin Steve who were also enjoying the rain delay at the stadium. Unfortunately, they were sitting in the upper deck and Megan and I were down at field level. In order to get up there, we had to leave our covered seats and make the trek up three levels to get to them. This normally wouldn’t be a problem except it was raining and Megan was wearing sandals. I wanted to laugh at her but that would not be very loving of me. So I laughed in private and laughed while I wrote this sentence. Sorry Megan, but your misfortune was my entertainment.

We finished our wet trek up to the upper deck to meet my family members. Something to know about my aunt and uncle: They love to go to the baseball game. They normally have a season ticket pack and pack a cooler for every game so they have their own food and don’t have to spend five dollars for a single French Fry. The oddest thing they have ever brought to the ballpark was biscuits. Not to poke fun, but who brings biscuits to the ballpark? Other than the great alliteration between the word “ballpark” and “biscuits”, they just don’t fit. But hey, it’s a cheap alternative to a six dollar hot dog that tastes like I feel when Chris Duncan swings wildly at a ball in the dirt.

Anyway, with this fact, I was shocked when my Uncle Mike went to the concession stand to buy an order of supreme nachos. My uncle, aunt and cousin then acted as though they had never seen an order of supreme nachos before and devoured every single chip with four minutes. One minute later, my uncle bought another order of supreme nachos. However, everyone’s eyes were a little bigger than their stomachs as there was plenty left over when all three of them were full, which meant free supreme nachos for me. Suddenly a four hour rain delay didn’t seem so bad.

The Future’s Game eventually started again and if it was memorable for anything other than being delayed, it was because of the horrid defense played throughout the entire game. There weren’t very many errors, just really stupid plays, especially for Team USA. America took a 5-3 lead into the final inning, but pulled an Isringhausen and lost 7-5, giving the World a 6-5 advantage overall in the history of the Future’s Game. America, where has all the baseball talent gone?

The rain delay caused several people to leave the stadium early, so when the Future’s Game did start up again, there were very few people still in the stadium, which allowed all five of us to move down from the upper deck into the lower bowl closer to the field where we thought we would stay for the remainder of the game. You will find out later how wrong we were.

The Celebrity Softball Game started about 30 or 40 minutes after the conclusion of the Future’s Game. For some reason, I have watched every single one of these things since they first started in 2001 and there have never been anybody spectacular, but this year was kind of cool since it was being played in my hometown. Former Cardinal greats Ozzie Smith, Vince Coleman, Bruce Sutter and Lee Smith all played, along with a guest appearance by former manager Whitey Herzog.

On the celebrity side, Jenna Fischer (Pam from “The Office”), rap artist and hometown hero Nelly and, my favorite, former basketball coach and world record chair thrower, Bobby Night all participated.

Of all the celebrities involved, one in particular caught Megan’s eye: Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys (Backstreet’s back…..ALRIGHT!). I suddenly realized we would be staying after the game to try and get an autograph.

The game went on as planned with players teasing each other between plays. Nelly was the star of the game with a diving catch and a home run that cleared the temporary wall set up for the game and almost landed on the actual warning track in right field.

However, the game became insignificant when an usher decided to push us out of the seats we had found in the lower level because the people who bought those seats finally showed up about midway through the softball game. We were not happy. Especially since the row of seats behind us were completely empty. We attempted to sit in that row, but the usher said we couldn’t because we clearly did not have tickets for that section. He then tried to send us all the way back to the upper deck. This is what really gets me. The stadium is not even close to being halfway full and you are trying to send me all the way back to the upper deck? Mr. Usher, you have just proven why Busch Stadium Ushers are the worst ushers in the Major Leagues, you guys just aren’t on the same plain of reality as everyone else. If there is nobody sitting in that seat, it is up for grabs. If the person that bought that seat doesn’t show up, well too bad for them. They forfeited their rights to the seat so whoever claims it first owns it. Mr. Usher, get your head out of your butt and realize what the hell is going around you. You give those who actually know what’s going on and know proper stadium etiquette a bad name.

We didn’t go back to our upper deck seats. We ended up sitting in seats that were in the Redbird Club. Joke’s on you jerk!

The game ended in a 10-8 come from behind victory for the “National League” team. As Megan and I bid my family members farewell, it was time for the business at hand: Get Brian Littrell’s autograph. This was not as hard as I thought it would be as Littrell was signing just about anything passed his way. All we had to do was battle a couple of picture takers and a 40-something old woman claiming, “I feel like I’m 19 again,” which was odd because the Backstreet Boys were popular like 10 years ago, and if this woman was 40 now, she would be 30 back then. Sorry ma’am, you’re not fooling anyone. Just admit it, you liked the Backstreet Boys as a 30 year old working woman. To make things worse, she brought a copy of the Backstreet Boys “Millennium” CD. Maybe it was pre-empted and she brought it to get it signed, or maybe she always has a copy with her just incase she runs into a Backstreet Boy. Knowing this lady, I’m betting the latter.

After about ten minute of yelling, “Brian! Brian! Over here! I love ‘I’ll Be the One,’” we finally fought our way up to the front. Unfortunately, Megan did not come as well prepared as the 40 year old super fan, so she had him sign her game day program. To make things even more unfortunate, Littrell signed the BACK of the program instead of the front. Megan now has a framed advertisement for Taco Bell signed by Brian Littrell of the Backstreet Boys.

Overall it was a great day. We saw some of the Cardinal’s future and past stars. We ate free nachos and the Cardinals split a doubleheader with the Chicago Cubs to finish the first half of the season. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when there is a four hour rain delay.

As we got back to the car (which had not been towed), the clock on car radio read 11:15pm. So much for getting home by 7pm for dinner. It’s a good thing White Castle is open 24 hours a day!

In Part III:

-I make my glorious return to FanFest where my cousin Joe doesn’t want to do anything but eat!
-I learn just how popular Colby Rasmus is becoming.
-I race home to try and see Albert Pujols win the Home Run Derby.

Stay tuned…

It's Anyone's Year

Former Cardinal pitcher and fan favorite Joaquin Andujar once said, “This game can be summed up in one word: Youneverknow." Andujar, of course, was referring to the old baseball adage that any team can beat any other team on any day; you just never know if the better team is going to be the one that comes out on top.

This baseball season has taken the idea of “youneverknow” and expanded it to more than a game by game basis and has turned it into this year’s theme. Only one team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, is running away with their division and, barring an unheard of collapse, is almost certainly going to finish with the best record in the National League and a trip to the playoffs. The rest of the league, however, is a different story. Every other division, in both the National and American League, has at least three teams within 5.5 games of first place. The NL Central Division alone has five teams fighting for first place. And at this point in the season, that is relatively unheard of. What’s even more unheard of is that over half of the league’s teams are at .500 or better. Eighteen teams to be exact.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR CAN MAKE!

On this date last year, only one division had more than two teams within 5.5 games of first place, which was the Central Division. This includes the God awful NL West, where at this time last year, the Arizona Diamondbacks were in a first place tie with the Dodgers with the ever so stellar record of 45-46. To make things even worse, only half of the MLB’s teams were at .500 or better.

If you go back even further, things only become more separated. Only one division, the AL East had more than two teams fighting for first place and one division was almost completely locked up as the Cardinals enjoyed an 11.5 game lead over the Houston Astros in the NL Central and were the only team above .500 in the division. To make things worse, less than have of the MLB was above .500.

So what has led to this “spreading of the wealth” in baseball? For your consideration, I present my three theories on the newfound parity in baseball.

1. ALMOST EVERYONE IS STRUGGLING

No team has been able to runaway with their division because almost no team has been able to stay hot for very long. Only two teams have been able to string together exceptionally large winning streaks: The Boston Red Sox and the Colorado Rockies (both tied with one eleven game winning streak each). The longest after that is a respectable seven game winning streak by the Arizona Diamondbacks, who spoiled the winning streak by having no offense or any pitching after stud pitcher and former Cardinal Dan Haren. There have been two losing streaks of note, one by the Toronto Blue Jays and one by the Chicago Cubs. The Blue Jays were looking like real contenders until they decided to lose nine games in a row, catapulting them to third place behind the Red Sox and the Yankees, but somehow they are still within striking distance of first place. The Cubs lost eight in a row earlier this year, which dropped them below the .500 mark. They have been hovering around .500 ever since, yet they are still only three games out of first. It could be an interesting year for several teams if nobody steps up and starts to take control of their division.

2. THE UNBALANCED SCHEDULE IS TAKING ITS TOLL

When Major League Baseball created the unbalanced schedule for the 2002 season, many fans were outraged as their favorite team was going to start playing the majority of their games against foes within their division, which meant seeing the same teams over and over and over again.

While the lack of variety in match-ups kind of stinks, it is beginning to create some very interesting division races. By making teams beat up on each other, it means that each team has more control over its own destiny and keeps some teams from running away from the rest of the field. In the Central Division, the Brewers have the best interdivision record standing at 23-14. But after that, the Cards have the best record being at just 22-17 followed by the Cubs who are only three games over .500 when playing their division rivals.

Only one team in all of baseball has a record within their division that is far and away better than any other team chasing them: The Dodgers. With an interdivision record of 30-12, they are the only team playing over .500 ball within the NL West. The San Francisco Giants are second best with a record of 15-16. It’s no wonder why the Dodgers are running away with that division. With no team able to really get a groove going against their division rivals, teams will continue to beat up on each other until the team with the least amount of bruises takes the division crown.

3. HOW MANY INJURIES CAN YOU HAVE?


With this being a Midwest sports blog, we focus on the NL Central for this theory. No team in contention has been completely healthy this year. While injuries are to be expected throughout the year, I cannot remember a year in which so many key players were hurt at the same time. For the Cardinals, Troy Glaus is yet to play in a game and there is a chance he has played his last game in a Cardinal uniform. Shortstop Khalil Greene apparently doesn’t know how to handle failure and, in a move to protect him from physically hurting himself, the Cards not only removed all sharp objects from the team clubhouse, but they put Greene on the DL twice to help him solve his anxiety problem. Now, newly acquired Mark DeRosa is on the DL with a wrist injury before recording his first hit as a Cardinal.

The Cubs have had it even worse. With Aramis Ramirez being out a majority of the season, the Cubbie offense has been fairly silent and inconsistent (much to the delight of your’s truly). Now things have gotten even worse as mediocre Cubs super pitcher Ryan Dempster is out with a fractured toe after trying to climb the fence in front of the Cubs dugout and one hit wonder Geovany Soto has now landed on the DL, though this might be for the best as Lou Piniella is no longer forced to continue to play him.



The Brewers have had a key injury as well. Rickie Weeks is out for the season with a wrist injury similar to Mark DeRosa’s, only much more severe, apparently.

The injury bug isn’t only affecting the NL Central. The Mets were expected to make a push for the playoffs this year, or at least a push for September, but they have had several key injuries to flamboyant shortstop Jose Reyes, Cardinal killer Carlos Beltran and future hall of fame first baseman Carlos Delgado. Needless to say, David Wright can’t carry an entire team by himself and a team full of bench players has left the Mets three games under .500.



Some say that parity in sports is a sign of mediocrity. Even if this is the case, who cares? The more teams involved in a pennant chase the better. One of the reasons that Opening Day is so great is because for one day of the baseball season, everyone is in first place and everyone is contending for a playoff spot. What’s wrong if the majority of team’s feel like they have a fighting chance halfway through the season? I say sit back, open up an ice cold Bud Light (the difference is affordability!) and get ready to watch some bare knuckle baseball. Even if your team is barely hanging on to a respectable record, there’s still hope.

After all...

...you never know.

It Costs A Lot of Money to Suck

I write this post just mere minutes after watching Colby Rasmus launch a walk-off home run deep into the right field bleachers for a much needed Cardinal victory.




Of course, if the Cards could hit, Colby’s homer wouldn’t be necessary and Adam Wainwright would have been rewarded for his great pitching performance. So many men left on base yet again, but this time it stings as the Cards were getting men on base against potential All-Star, Matt Cain. Nine men were left on base. The back breaker coming when Chris Duncan struck out on three pitches with the bases loaded to end the Redbird threat.

Runs are clearly coming at a premium this year and are in high demand. But how much exactly are Cardinal fans who come to Busch Stadium to watch a game paying per Cardinal run? More than they should be.

In 43 home games this year, the Cards have scored 173 runs, which averages out to four runs per game. The average ticket to a game at Busch Stadium is $29.43.

Before I get into the hardcore math, I would like to take the time to state that one of the reasons I went to the World’s Finest School of Journalism at THE University of Missouri was because I hate math. Hate may not even be a strong enough word. I DESPISE math, almost as much as I despise Keith Hernandez (view YouTube video). So, doing this article says a lot about how much I love sports. I’m willing to do math problems to talk about sports. You’re welcome.





Back to the topic at hand. $29.43 divided by four runs per game averages out to $7.50. That’s right. Cardinal fans are paying $7.50 per run. To put this into perspective, a beer at Busch costs $7.75. If the Cardinal offense were much worse, they would owe me an ice cold Bud Light when I come to the ballpark.

So how does this compare to the rest of the teams in the National League Central? Let’s take a look.






These numbers left me with two questions:

1. Can I afford for the Cardinal offense to continue to stink?

2. Who the hell is paying $47.75 to go watch the Cubs in that dilapidated stadium?

The second question was easy to answer: THESE GUYS!


And no, I can’t afford to pay $7.50 per run. I can barely afford $2.50 per gallon of gas. I’m an unemployed college graduate with a journalism degree. Even if I do get a job, I still don’t think I can afford the outrageous price for a run. This is why I need the Cardinal offense to get going. When they’re hitting, runs are so much cheaper.

Let’s go back five years to the awesome season of 2004 and what was, what I consider, the most consistent and best offense the Cards have put on the field in at least the last 20 years. The average ticket price back then was $23.76 and the Cards were averaging 5.11 runs per home game. This comes out to $4.64 per run, which is a very affordable price. If we take that 5.11 runs per home game and insert the 2009 average ticket price into the equation, the price is still much better: $5.94 per run.

Even if the Cards could average just a half run more per home game, the price goes down almost a dollar to $6.54, which is still pricy, but hey, at least that would mean they were hitting at home again.

There is some good news for Cardinal fans however. And that news is that Cardinal fans are not Yankee fans. The Yankees far and away have the most expensive ticket, which averages $72.97 for a home game in the new wiffle ball field that is the new Yankee Stadium. These tickets are so expensive that no matter how good the Yankees are, runs are still very expensive. New York is averaging 5.68 runs per game, which is great. But it costs $12.62 per run! At least Cardinal runs are affordable when the offense is good!


*Thanks to baseballreference.com and baseballprospectus.com for providing me with ticket price information.